cadaverousgallant:

pacolind:

        I was playing Minecraft, and I decided to go north with no materials other than the items i already had in pockets. For two REAL days I have spent my time going nothing but north. I eventually reached an ocean and I jumped in and swam…and swam… I was running out of food and just as i was about to give up and drown myself, i stumbled upon the most amazing thing i have ever seen. An island of 1 block sticking out of the ocean with a red rose resting on top. Against all odds, that one rose grew on that one block. This has given me hope, and i must believe that against all odds, I too can live on. I must keep going.

that was the most inspiring thing i’ve ever read

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

justintheallan:

soycrates:

endreal:

avatar-addiction:

nicotineenema:

Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually

shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl 

shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg

shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in  a happy, friendly tone.

Shout out to Guinea Pigs which are neither pigs nor from Guinea.  

d-yspathy:

Dear Boss,

I keep on hearing the police have caught me but they wont fix me just yet. I have laughed when they look so clever and talk about being on the right track. That joke about Leather Apron gave me real fits. I am down on whores and I shant quit ripping them till I do get buckled. Grand work the last job was. I gave the lady no time to squeal. How can they catch me now. I love my work and want to start again. You will soon hear of me with my funny little games. I saved some of the proper red stuff in a ginger beer bottle over the last job to write with but it went thick like glue and I cant use it. Red ink is fit enough I hope ha. ha. The next job I do I shall clip the ladys ears off and send to the police officers just for jolly wouldn’t you. Keep this letter back till I do a bit more work, then give it out straight. My knife’s so nice and sharp I want to get to work right away if I get a chance. Good Luck.

Yours truly
Jack the Ripper

Dont mind me giving the trade name

Wasnt good enough to post this before I got all the red ink off my hands curse it No luck yet. They say I’m a doctor now. ha ha

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union